“You do not have to do anything further to complete your subscription cancellation.
The last day of your subscription will be 11/20/2013. Use your last 8 days to contact any new members on Match.com. You never know when you’re going to find the one!”
You’re right, online dating, you never do know when you’re going to find “the one,” which is why is seems REALLY peculiar that they have like a six month guarantee that people WILL find the right person…
I may have cancelled my online dating profile, but this challenge isn’t over just yet. By my calculations, the dating challenge ends today, actually, which seems fitting as I’ve got kind of an important date tonight. More on that later!
Sunday night I had my final online dating-date. I was mildly nervous going into it, but not really sure what to expect. The facts are these: I was meeting up with a new guy, The Librarian (this name is self-explanatory, right? He’s a librarian), for beers and some low-key, getting-to-know-you type conversation. We were meeting at a bar I’d never been to, which was listed on Yelp as a “loud” type of place. This doesn’t always bode well, but sometimes Yelp is wrong about volume levels. Sadly in this instance, Yelp was not wrong about that.
A little back story real quick: This was a guy I messaged because he looked at my profile a number of times, and he seemed really interesting! His profile mentioned that he liked to read the paper (old-fashioned!) and he seemed friendly and normal! I didn’t know if he would ever make the first move to send me a message, so I just kind of went for it. We had a couple of sporadic messages here and there (he told me he had cancelled his newspaper subscription a few months ago, sadface), and then he asked if I wanted to meet for a drink. Aaand now you’re up to speed.
I got there a bit early and we’d planned to meet outside so I kind of wandered around a bit as tehre was a man harassing passers-by for cigarettes and change. He disappeared and I went back to the bar front to check out the menu as I hadn’t really eaten and figured we would probably snack on something while we chatted (NOTE: We did not). I was playing around on my phone when a cab pulled up and he slid out, unenthusiastically. That pretty much set the theme for the rest of the evening. Nothing really happened. There was a lot of drinking and looking around awkwardly. I kept asking questions, to try to pepper some sort of conversation…but nothing really stuck. It’s not an interview, it’s a conversation. There are only so many questions that I can ask to keep things going until I trickle out of ideas and start asking what super power you’d want if you were a superhero (to be fair, his answer was really awesome, actually…ice power to make really cool entrances…and freeze things.).
Luckily (though it was incredibly uncomfortable to get this news), he called a cab while I was in the bathroom, and we finished our beers promptly (by his general request) and parted ways. I went home and watched more episodes of Daria, which seemed fitting.
The next day I deleted my profile, though technically it needs to stay up for the next seven days, which is annoying, and will be removed on the 20th of November. I don’t understand or appreciate this, but maybe it isn’t view-able to people? I don’t know.
When cancelling your online dating profile on match.com, they ask for 1000 character or less feedback. Now please understand that I totally understand that online dating can work for some people. I know a few people who have met their current boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse via dating websites, but this experience has definitely taught me that my quest is likely not best suited for the online scene. Below, the “wisdom” I imparted on the poor person who has to sift through the responses to said feedback:
“Finding love isn’t easy. There’s too much involved in ensuring that people don’t settle, feel the right spark, have a great connection, and really care about each other. If you want to settle for someone, then sure, this type of stuff could work. And occasionally, yes, matches are made from online dating. But love isn’t just found online like sturdy pots and pans. At least, that’s how I’m feeling. I’d rather be alone than settle for a guy I met online who is a whatever% match due to some sort of algorithm. I work with algorithms. I don’t want to love in algorithms. This type of stuff can work I guess, if the love you’re looking for happens to be on here too, but guaranteeing people will find love on your site is just not a good gimmick. It creates a culture of “Hey, I’m a nice guy!” guys, and women who, like me, feel like they’re at some weird Chinese buffet of men with Seinfeldian issues. I’d prefer not to find love like this, is what I’ve learned.”
I’m not really sure why I keep trying online dating (over the years, in general, not just with this challenge) when it makes me feel so uncomfortable in the end. I don’t particularly like going on dates with people I haven’t been able to observe in some sort of a real life situation, either in person or via social media. I don’t do well with attempting romantic relationships with people that I don’t know as friends, and I don’t really dig kissing strangers. This challenge definitely solidified my need to really know someone before even considering how I would like to be with that person…and if I would. I guess I did learn something, aside from the fact that I’m not so horrible at dating: friendship is more important to be as a basis of a good, strong relationship, and maybe I should take more chances and actually date people I already do like.
My final date within the constraints of this challenge is the perfect end, then, to…this challenge…so…TO BE CONTINUED, MOTHER BITCHES!
...I Just Want Your Half. 